At this time, they may not find enough cause to investigate but sometimes this step does bring services into the family. When you talk with them, stick to the factual information. Be prepared by writing down all your observations – try to include dates, locations, etc. To learn more about having this difficult kind of situation, and under what kinds of circumstances it might be helpful, take a look at our guidebook, “ Let’s Talk”.Īs your son-in-law is in a caregiver position, you could call child protective services and consult with them regarding next steps. The main objective is to focus on his daughter’s safety, and what the adults can do to take responsibility to make sure children are kept safe. Many of the tips on talking with your daughter can also be applied to talking to your son-in-law. And it is always best to have a support person with you if you do decide to have such a conversation. This is absolutely not the approach for every relationship and safety is always the main priority. In some cases, concerned adults have found it advantageous to speak directly to the adult whose behaviors with children alarm them. I’m not sure of the type of relationship you have with your son-in-law. She may need some time to process, be understanding…but follow up with her, asking her to think about next steps. Be prepared with accurate information about Warning Signs and other tools available from our website.This is about everyone getting support and help so that the children and the family experience the least amount of trauma and stress as possible. Be specific and factual but try (as hard as it can be) to stay calm and neutral. Do not “accuse” her husband of anything – rather, describe your observations.Focus on your shared love and commitment for your granddaughter.Make sure that you are in a private place – away from her daughter and her husband.If you do decide to talk to her, these communication tips may be able to help: While these conversations are difficult, often they can lead to families working together to keep the children safe. Are you able to bring up your observations with her? I would be curious to know whether she has concerns that she hasn’t known how to bring up. Ideally, bringing up these concerns with your daughter would be the next immediate step. There are some steps to consider as you think about involving the police.

You are right – it is crucial to take action and yes, there will most likely be some difficult conversations and situations afterward.

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